Dressing for the Bridegroom
By Mrs Chan Tean Yin
THE bride in white walks gracefully and guardedly down the aisle towards the waiting bridegroom. She is the most beautiful woman in the hall. All eyes gaze upon her radiant loveliness. The bridesmaids and the flower girls, dressed in spaghetti-striped gowns, also draw the attention of the people. The atmosphere is almost ‘unreal’. There’s a touch of both Disneyland and Hollywood, and the spectators at the modern church wedding are mesmerized. As the bride continues her walk down the aisle, eyes move from her smiling face to the details of her wedding gown. Some are a little disturbed by what they see. Some may shrug it off. ‘This is the 21st century. We’ve got to go with the fashion trends.’ I often wonder how the officiating ministers manage to concentrate without being more than ‘a little distracted’ by the bride’s and bridesmaids’ scant attire.
A senior pastor observed that one of the most disturbing trends creeping into the Malaysian church today has to do with women’s attire in church, especially at church weddings. The wedding ceremony, one of the most holy and solemn ceremonies, has turned into a fashion show of sorts. It is a fashion show displaying not the ‘best dressed’ but the ‘least dressed.’ The senior pastor lamented that perhaps the Malaysian church has lost its cutting edge. If we do not address this issue of proper attire in the holy place, we will not be able to attract our neighbours of other faiths who have a more respectful attitude towards places of worship. The Muslims and Hindus, for example, have such reverence for their places of worship that they ensure they are properly attired and their women are covered up when they worship. In contrast, Christians tend to be lax and seem to have thrown away decorum in dressing and grooming in the name of ‘liberty in the Spirit.’ It is time for Christian women to bring back modesty in their attire.
Modest Dressing
The subject of modest dressing can be controversial among Christians today. Yet, it is an issue that every church ought to face. M. Thaxter Dickey writing on the subject says, ‘Every family, every Christian woman must consider modesty not only as a philosophical, theological and doctrinal issue but as a practical daily concern.’
Today’s Scenario
Immodesty is a serious problem today because we are living in an era that glorifies immodesty and immorality. Just look at the commercial advertisements of today - regardless of what they are advertising (cars, food, cosmetics, etc) the focus is not on the product but on the immodestly dressed man or woman. No wonder immodesty is now so commonly accepted and it does not disturb most people. The younger generation has no qualms about dressing like the supermodels and celebrity models.
M. Thaxter Dickey observes: "At least superficially, they seem to have no shame about this kind of dress. I suspect that they do have doubts but they are reluctant to admit them and so suppress them lest they be thought to be ‘prudes’ or ‘religious fanatics’ or ‘fashion fascists.’ And those who ought to be condemning this kind of behaviour, fathers, preachers, and elders, often fear to do so for the very same reason."
What is Modesty?
Modesty is decency. It is not sexually provocative. Another writer, David Feddes, puts it very well. ‘If you are modest, you have a kind of shyness about sexuality, a discomfort with crude jokes and lewd stares. This doesn’t mean you are ashamed of your body or that you think it’s bad. If you are modest…there’s a strong sense that this passion (love life) is very precious, personal and private. Nakedness may be lovely in the marriage bed but not as a public display.’
Large numbers of women in our immodest culture just do not get it. They choose to wear immodest clothing. Pastor and author Douglas Wilson says: ‘Many of the current fashions for young women appear to be apparel in standard use down at the local Hooker Training Academy.’ Some styles are so similar to prostitutes that Wilson’s wife told him ‘it must be difficult for men these days trying to figure out which ones they have to pay for and which ones are free.’ Unfortunately, today even many church people dress indecently to church services. Wilson puts it this way: ‘Many Christian women go to worship today dressed in a manner that would have gotten them thrown out of a bar fifty years ago.’
What does scriptures say about modest dress for Christian women?
God does not give us a detailed dress code in the Bible. He does not require Christian women today to hide behind thick veils or look plain and dowdy. In God’s eyes, character matters more than clothing. But He is concerned about modesty and calls for it in our dressing and appearance. This message is needed today even more than when it was first written!
1 Peter 3:3-4
‘Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.’
1 Timothy 2:9-10
‘I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.’
These passages are primarily a condemnation of finery and ostentation rather than sexual immorality, but they also contain the positive injunction to women to dress appropriately as befits a people who profess to be godly.
Proverbs 7:10
‘Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.’ This passage is a powerful acknowledgement that some forms of dress are designed to attract unlawful sexual desire and are thus condemned.
Why is modesty important to Christian women?
Does modesty matter in today’s church? Besides the scriptural injunction in 1 Peter 3 and 1 Timothy 2 that exhort Christian women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety befitting one who confesses to godliness, there are other practical reasons for maintaining modest dress. M Thaxter Dickey gives five reasons why Christian women should not dress immodestly.
1. It is unfair to men
Men are easily aroused by ‘sight’. It is therefore dangerous to their souls to see women dressed indecently, especially in church. Though the weakness may be theirs, women should not be a stumbling block to our fellow brethren.
‘Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.’ (Romans 14:13).
‘Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak’ (1 Corinthians 8:9).
2. It is a dangerous threat to chastity
Clothing is an important non-verbal communication that sends signals to the receivers. Thus, indecent dressing sends signals that can lead to sexual violation. Many rape cases occur due to impropriety in dressing on the part of the victims. Dickey advises, ‘Chastity must be motivated by respect for one’s body and the dignity of others. Parents, especially fathers who ought to know about such things, should be watchful so that immoral fashions and attitudes do not violate the integrity of the home, especially through the uncritical acceptance of the messages of the mass media.’[v]
3. Immodest dress is unfair to other women
Today’s fashion trend is putting pressure on women to compete for the sexual attention of men. This invariably reduces the value of women to that of a sex object. Dickey again puts it succinctly: ‘It is unfair to women because it forces them into a restrictive code of dress and beauty that is primarily sexual. Women today find themselves competing with the artificial sexy image of womanhood that Hollywood and Madison Avenue have created…that is the reason for the plethora of women’s mental problem of insecurity and low self esteem as well as the actual physical health produced by excess dieting in a futile attempt to measure up.’
4. It is an indicator of certain character
‘Clothes maketh a man’, so the saying goes. The way one dresses indicates the character and personality of the wearer. Clothing is a powerful non-verbal message. As Christian women, it is important to send the right signals through our dressing. Related to this, the Bible speaks of ‘the attire of the harlot’ (Proverbs 7:10) which indicates to us that there is an inappropriate way of dressing which Christian women must be careful to avoid.
Dickey says of today’s fashion, "Modern dress is nothing short of exhibitionism. Women who choose to display their breasts, thighs or buttocks, either mostly uncovered or with form fitting clothes, to public view must at best endure the public attention that it brings and at worst they must enjoy this kind of exposure."
5.Immodest dressing reflects poorly on one’s vocation as a Christian woman
To put it simply, modesty in dressing is a testimony to unbelievers. While Christian women do not want to be branded as ‘old fashioned’, ‘prudish or ‘fashion fascists’, we want to project to the world that we are a people who believe in decency, chastity and purity. We may be regarded as peculiar to the ungodly, but don’t forget, we are a set-apart people, set apart from the garish, glitzy, exploiting, mindless fashion world of today.
Our outward appearance should reflect the spiritual convictions we hold so dearly. We must not contradict our faith and convictions by immodest dressing.
Conclusion
The subject of modest dressing for the Christian woman cannot be exhausted in this one article. I am aware there are many more points for discussion eg the cultural differences in interpretation of what constitutes ‘modesty.’ What might be immodest in one culture would not be so in another eg revealing of the hands, ankles, face, etc. What is culturally inappropriate in one culture may be totally acceptable in another. However, it is hoped that Christian women would agree that ‘immodest attire’ is that state of dress or (undress) which flaunts a person’s body and sexuality. Christians, note the way we dress when we go to church. How different are we from those going to discos or entertainment centers? While it is true that the Bible does not give us a detailed dress code, and passages like 1 Peter 3:3-5 and 1 Timothy2:9-10 are more concerned with character and conduct rather than clothes or external appearance, nevertheless, Scriptures call for modesty and propriety. The problem with today’s church is that we tend to stretch our Christian liberty too far. It is time to remind ourselves, that as Christian women we have a testimony to maintain. We do this not only with our actions, words and deeds but also in the way we dress and make ourselves presentable for we are the Bride of the Bridegroom.
Tean Yin is a member of the NECF Women’s Commission.
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God is Anti-Nakedness
By Pastor Susan Tang
OH, if only we knew this - that God is anti-nakedness. If every Christian woman knows this, it will change the way she dresses. Many of us fail the test when it comes to implementing the Lordship of Jesus Christ in this area of our lives.
The Scriptures are very clear about how godly women should dress. Under the direction of the Holy Spirit, the apostle Paul instructed women to dress modestly with shamefacedness (shyness) and sobriety. Put in today’s language, the passage in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 simply means that there must be discretion, decency, and a degree of shyness (over too much exposure) in our dressing.
If we Christian women cannot even adhere to such a simple commandment to dress modestly or decently, then what other commandments can we keep? The Scriptures clearly forbid women to wear clothes that are indecent and that suggest wantonness in our character. Whether we like it or not, one’s character is definitely seen in one’s dressing! That is why people react with hostility when we comment negatively on their dressing because they see it as an attack on their character. It behoves us to remember that the worship of God has everything to do with our outward demeanour and our dressing.
It is not true that Christian women cannot adorn themselves or be dressed fashionably, tastefully, sophisticatedly or attractively. Have you noticed the way God adorns His own creation! Just look at the different hues and the blending of colours in the flowers, the birds, the rainbow, the sea and the clouds. It is amazing!
Creation definitely displays God’s good taste and love of beauty, refinement and colours. Creation is variegated and it speaks loudly to us that God is a God of variety and design. He is artistic, innovative and resourceful. Yes, we can adorn ourselves in whatever way we want but definitely not in a manner that is distasteful or indecent. This will not only draw untoward and negative attention to us but will also fuel men’s minds with uncontrollable lust and obscenity. Hollywood is full of this stuff. It is because Jesus is not the Lord of Hollywood.
Christian women are called to be the true guardians of virtue, but have we today degenerated so much that we have no true luster in our character? Are we so destitute of inward beauty that we have to dress immodestly and seductively to draw attention to ourselves? Surely not! Must we dress provocatively so that we can be special or ‘singular’ enough to court some notice or admiration from lustful and wanton eyes? Of course not! Have we no more Holy Ghost power to draw people to Jesus that we have to revert to indecent dressing or dressing like the world in order to draw in the crowds? No! No1 No! Must I degenerate into a prostitute in order to win the prostitute, or become a drug addict before I can preach to the drug addict? God forbid! Yet some women in some churches are advocating: ‘Dress like the world so we can draw them in!’ What dark satanic counsel! This is so frightening.
Jesus Christ has set the value of women to be higher than the price of rubies. We are costly and precious. Let us remain so! We are to be His ‘garden enclosed and fountain sealed.’ We do not need this cheap publicity copied from Hollywood. We have God’s nobility, beauty, standard, power and holiness inside, and more than this, we have His love. Let all these be expressed through our dressing.
Why copy from Hollywood? Hollywood women are destitute of these qualities. This is why they dress the way they do. Every form of rebellion, lust, pride, uncleanness, lack of self-restraint, perversion and selfishness has been expressed through their fashions and their dressing.
The saying, ‘God looks on the inside, not on the outside, so do not judge people by their dressing’ is wrong, wrong, wrong! Why? Because the inside always controls the outside. Dress is always a symbol of our character. Our choice of clothes reveals deep things about us, things that we are not even conscious of. If a woman shows no outward restraint or shame in her scanty or improper dressing, it means she has no self-restraint on her inside. It is frightening when a woman exercises no restraint in her thoughts and feelings and does not even know what ‘shamefacedness’ (shyness) or embarrassment is. God’s scathing rebuke to the nation of Israel revealed their terrible state of degeneration and deviation. The nation did not even know shame. They ‘could not blush.’ In the end God had to destroy them. Read Jeremiah 6:15.
Christian women need to be taught to dress with modesty and discretion because so many churches in the city are impacted with improperly and immodestly dressed women. Many pastors and church leaders do not dare speak out for fear of the repercussions. As we grow in our knowledge of God, we will realize that Father God loves discretion and order and hates nakedness and immodesty. This aspect of His character is seen in His commandments to the nation of Israel. Firstly, we see Him instructing His people in the Old Testament to put fringes in their sleeves, to the hemline and to the neckline of their garments to properly cover themselves. Read Deuteronomy 22:12.
Secondly, He specifically instructed that altars in those days were to be built on lower ground. To have altars built on a high place would mean that the priests had to walk up the steps to carry out their services. This would uncover their nakedness to the people below. What a prudent and discreet God. He is so full of details, foresight and insight. His thoughts are on everything. He even safeguarded His priests from peeping toms! Yes, when it came to worshipping Him, He made sure that nothing would infringe upon that sacred and holy worship, not even improper demeanour or dressing. Read Exodus 20;26.
Know your God, ladies. Know your God. Know that He is indeed discreet and modest and He hates uncovered bodies. As we increase in our knowledge of Him, may we also improve on the way we dress ourselves. Let there be decency and modesty in our attire.
Our children must learn the right things from us. If mothers do not dress properly, their children will not. If pastors’ wives do not dress moderately, the church members will not. Every godly pastor and church leader or Christian statesman should pastor his wife in the area of her dressing if she has missed the mark. I am not talking about control; I am talking about directing so that their spouses will dress properly and discreetly, with the testimony of Jesus shining through their lives. If we want our children to grow up with a sense of godliness and worth, then they must be taught the ways of God. They must be taught to value their own bodies as private property and as God’s holy temple. Yes, children must be taught that their bodies are not public property. They are not to be gawked at by lustful men and lecherous eyes on the street.
Yes, the experiential and revelational knowledge of our God must indeed raise us from the degradation of all sensuality and vulgarity, so often found in our dressing, to purity and nobility. God’s standard, found in the Bible, should minister guidance for life, release true solace or security for our spirits and provide us with instruction for righteousness in our daily living…and dressing.
O God, help us. Help us glorify You in every area of our lives. We are called to change and to influence the world but why is the world changing and influencing so many of us instead? Help us to manifest Your nobility, holiness, purity, beauty and refinement through our outward demeanour and our dressing. By Your Holy Spirit, deal with us and work obedience into us so that the testimony of Jesus will be recovered in our dressing. May the holiness, the serenity, quietness, nobility and refinement of Jesus be seen through our dressing.
This is an extract from "My Life: Increasing in the Experiential and Revelational Knowledge of God".
**Extracted from Christian literature and not personal written by me! ***
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